I want to know why my teenage son hates me. He wont even answer me. I raised him all my life. I starved. He ate. His father didn't have anything to do with h im till last year. Why am I suddenly the antichrist? l had him young and I conquered! WTF!
you said it right there...teenage son...
don't worry, he'll come round...
yea its just cause he is a teenager............
its a phase. all boys go thru it. it sounds very cliche, but it is also very true. I rememeber going thru it and the hell I put my mom (single parent) thru. cant explain why...just happened. then passed thru it and it was over.
best of luck to you. sounds like you've been a great mother. just keep up the good work and be available. maybe a little space is all he needs.
Teenage boys want to accumulate power. It is what guys do. Having his father return to his life has given him some significant leverage that he didn't have before. I am sure is is also craving the male figure head that he didn't have. Stay level headed and unreactive when provoked by him or his father. He will eventually have a tiff with his father and want to use you for leverage against his father, don't fall for it. Remain the constant one, constant rules, just be there. Kids like security, they just have to learn it for themselves sometimes.
Best of luck
Just roll with it it will pass. It might take a few years but like all of us he'll se the light.
Katz you're not alone hon......I'm going through some similiar crap hon
Sorry to hear it Katz. I know something of the sacrifices you have made for him and he just does not get it. Personally, I think it would do him a world of good to go live with his dad for a while. Then he might gain some appreciation of just how good he has it now. Don't let him get you down. You are a great mom, and a wonderful person. Just keep doing the right thing, like you always have. Maybe someday he will realize what a jerk he has been.
One suggestion, if he won't talk to you, stop doing things for him until he asks you. No laundry, cooking, or taking him anywhere. Hell, let him ride the bus to school. Ground his ass and let him stay in his room till he decides to treat you with the respect you deserve. Of course, you first take out his TV, computer, video games etc. Let him read and do homework.
Then again, you could just strap on the boxing gloves and beat the hell out him in front of his friends. Of course, that won't change things, but it might make you feel a little better.
My daughter was like that to me @ age 13-16.Yes It hurt man I sometimes cryied when I was in bed. Now she is 18 and I'm the best daddy There ever was!!(She said) Hang tuff bro, you'll see!
Give it a couple years... it's a phase we all go through. I've given my parents some shit a couple years back.. for no just reason either. Obviously I'm not tough on them anymore... but I was. It's the growth cycle...
Hang in there,
Originally posted by hardbodybabe
My son went to live with his Dad after living with me for 9 years...9 years of total financial support by me and my family, very little involvement by him, you know the story.....we both thought he needed the male influence at a crucial time in his life, he was a Momma's boy....after making such a hard decision, I constantly question myself about it, and constantly have other people telling me I am wrong for doing it....All I can say is that he is a child born of two people, two people who love him very much and two people who have a right to be in his life....we decided that his needs were more readily met by me in his younger years and in his teen years they would be more readily met by his father....that was how we handled it, but its not for everybody.....I miss him terrribly and having people in my life who give me grief over this decision makes it even harder....
HBB i hear you...and I admire your bravery for being able to do that hon....it's not easy I know.....
Katz hang in there hon!
He'll come around Katz...I remember what its like to be a male teenager and he thinks he knows everything right now and that he has it all figured out! Of course he doesn't but thats just how they think.
I like what flexinc said about taking all his stuff away from him. That is some excellent advice cause that will really hit him where it hurts - when he doesn't have all the things he really enjoys - he will have no choice but to give you respect.
Don't be too hard on yourself about it though. You know the sacrifices you made for him all his life and sooner or later he will as well...I think it's just a phase of growing up. How old is he BTW?
Thanks everyone! I got his mid semester grades..failing everything as usual. Of course he'll get A's on his finals and pass by the skin of his teeth. I going to college full time and working part-time..bustin' my ass to get my Rn. I lost my job last year and had to change careers. It makes me sick that he won't put any effort into anything but the computer games. I am so tempted to toss his computer out of the window along with his t.v. and games. I asked him if he loved me the other day..he stared at me with a blank face. Hello is there anybody in there?! My boyfriend said he would have thrown him out of the house if he was in my shoes. I never acted that way toward my parents. Of course I would have been slapped upside the head. He wants a car, ha ha. I told him to hop on his bike, ride to the grocery store and get a job. He can bag groceries. God, he'd bag eggs and bread with canned goods.
By the way how old do you have to be to have your parent sign you into the military? That would fix his ass. Hell I had a job at his age.
Oh man am I going to get it from those who this probably applies most to. But the facts speak volumes. It's hard to blame our kids for our shortcomings. Your son isn't doing anything that 99% of kids in his same position aren't doing.
Here's a few facts for you.
Eighty-five percent of prisoners, 78% of high school dropouts, 82% of teenage girls who become pregnant, the majority of drug and alcohol abusers-all come from single-mother-headed households.
Why? Single moms have to work their butts off, or choose to go back to school in order to provide better for their kids. What these kids really need is time. Time spent with their parents. Not bits and pieces of left over time after work and after mom gets home from class or done studying.
The same thing happens to rich family's that are always too busy to be with their kids for any real quality time. They buy them computers or games as presents but don't give them what they really need. Time.
This is the price we pay for destroying the family in the USA. No more life where one parent is always home caring for the kids. Even if that parent is only gone a few hours each day, that's still 40% of the time they miss out on.
Kids need time! more than anything else. The sad fact is that many family's don't have that as a option. But see it for what it is. It isn't a bad kid failing his grades. It's us as parents failing our kids to whatever degree applies.
I am not a parent T-bar, but I have to agree with you 100%